Yesterday was my POINT OF NO RETURN

Yeah I was really really proud of myself yesterday... I broke my boundaries aka my so isolated from the danger, comfort zone... Yeah.. I added my name to be one of the guy in charge of leading a bunch of kids, not literally I mean because most of the are bigger than me, to went through a hell of a jungle... Why did I do it in the first place?? Really if I choose to be or not to be that guy right now, I still prefer not to be.. What's I called a hell of a jungle is really a hell of wild slippy track covered with splattering mud and not to mention all the gaps where their end can't be seen from above. The reason is probably I want to break my boundary so bad that I now really to obsessed even if it could bring harm to me.. It sounds fool and lunatic to let something dangerous slipped by in order to achieve something (which is not really that valuable in this case).. I know but yeah God please I really really now place my life in your hands and plans.. If it's not align with your plan, please give sign!!! Because i risk my own life in my camp leading this Saturday.

Yesterday before I knew what the track was like, I was really really pumped up... It was really good time for me to prove myself that I could be the action guy.. Not just the guy playing behind the screen and embrace himself in the books for the rest of his life... There were really someone in particular I really want to impress by this suicidal tracking. I just wanted to see the other side of myself.. Now or never I think.. and then, after arriving there, I was distracted by the good view from the place, because it's really high place and gave good view for my city from above..

Then track began... First yeah it's just climbing a couple of wide stairs (i love nothing but stairs right now, see why).. Then it all turned into nightmare for the rest of the track., Nothing neither slippery nor steady was there to climb or going down the track.. I'm so FUCKING DEAD I think.. and thanks God it was not raining because I could probably slipped and killed myself yesterday it it was...